Some GT:NH news

I'm finishing setting up a room for machinery and planning to make a video-tour around our current base with the focus on a new room.

My stress levels skyrocketed recently and I'm barely keeping up. Only slept for 2 hours last night, super stressed and can't even think about forcing myself to sleep right now, while being extremely tired. I did become easily irritated by anything, having a hard time keeping the act together with the weight of pain and stress. It's honestly super hard to not throw anger or your pain out to people nearly who said a wrong word.
I do plan to take a year off study (half a year to be more honest) to figure out how to fix at least extreme pain I constantly experience recently. I hope I'll get through this, but it'll be hard. It's always hard with my health.

I did have some bad news arriving recently with the last blood tests. For a while, I suspected there was something off with my estradiol levels. 360 pg/ml didn't seem to match what I was feeling and experiencing. For a long time I was worried that I don't have the correct levels measured. Despite different endocrinologists saying it's fine to take a blood test of the hand being used for transdermal estradiol as long as I do it 12+ hours after the last application of the spray, I doubt 12 hours is enough. As far as I know, transdermal estradiol, if applied, is absorbed by the fat tissue and then slowly released to the blood stream. And this process of slow release is accumulative across every time estradiol is applied while also lasting sometimes for more than a few weeks. So I basically have a slow release of accumulated E2 into the bloodstream near the area of the blood intake for the test. It doesn't sound right. And it indeed isn't. The problem was that for me to actually try and put my doubts to the test, I needed to put a lot of energy and effort into it. To make sure 3 times a day, every day for about a month, I don't apply estradiol to one arm despite it already being a strong habit - not an easy task. Requiring quite a lot of phycological attention from me, I was always putting it away for later.

But recently I did manage to keep it up for a month and get a blood test without any influence of locally accumulated in fat tissue E2. It confirmed my worst expectations - lab test have shown a 500% decrease in E2. From ~360 pg/ml at peak to 72pg/ml. That's pretty bad - the usual norm is 150 and higher. And it isn't something that happened recently - it has been like that for more than 3 years. I just hadn't enough courage to check and go against doctors in another thing in my HRT. I'm honestly regretting not doing it earlier. That does show how much incompetence you can find from doctors regarding HRT. To be honest, not all doctors were telling me that, but no one warned me either - it was always me who was bringing it up.



I won't go into discussions or debates about Lenzetto or places to apply transdermal E2 - it's not the point here. I'm talking about being careful with blood tests if you apply transdermal E2 anywhere close to the test. I'm going to try changing to injections. Hope it'll go smoothly. I just had a conversation about it with my endo today. I hope to stop being worried about bioavailability and methods of application for E2 someday.

I'm getting ignored even in the work chat of an NGO where I'm volunteering...

Welcome to mobile YouTube -
get greeted with an unskipable ad as soon as you open the app
Now with 33% more ads!
Every video is starting with an ad now!
Every video is ending with an ad now!
Every video have an least 3 ads packed inside now!
Your daily recommendations are 20% ads now!
Coming soon - every click on a UI will deliver you an ad!

Well, NewPipe here I go ...

I've finally chosen all of the PC parts, hooray!
Now the only things left to do are to actually order them (I already have orders across 4 different shops waiting for confirmation), wait till the next month so my father will help to partially cover the cost, and find 800 UAH that ended up being out of my current budget.
I guess I'm waiting for my next social payment for my disability next month. Very excited as this is the first big purchase I allowed myself to make for the past 5-6 years.
I'm pleasantly surprized by the support of my family, covering ~40 % of the budget and allowing me to jump a few generations up with CPU and GPU, as well as finally upgrade my 1280x1024 60Hz monitor.

Maybe now PC will finally stop lagging with browser + discord + telegram opened 😅

Jokes aside my current PC was being called "a dinosaur" by a lot of people I know even 5 years ago.

Does anyone know how to search for a trans friendly psychotherapist? I've been working with mine for a few months but I keep feeling worse and worse. I want to try CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) mainly.
And please don't confuse psychologists with psychotherapists - I don't need psychologists as they are lacking professional knowledge to treat deep depression. Will be thankful for any info

Привіт! Маю купу квиточків на проїзд в Києві до кінця місяця. Пишіть, роздаватиму

That's a friend of mine who I know in person, so if it's relevant to you don't be afraid to reach out

We have teleporters in vanilla Minecraft now, wow
https://youtu.be/FnUE-ZaALLw

I want to die already. How much longer do I need to force myself to live?

📅 Сьогодні – День Видимості трансгендерних людей 🏳️‍⚧️

💙 Це не просто день нагадування про наше існування. Це можливість озвучити реальні проблеми, з якими ми стикаємося щодня. Часто настільки системні, що стають майже непомітними.

💖 Ми змушені боротися – за себе, за право бути, за можливість жити без страху. Наші історії – це боротьба, наші тіла й душі несуть шрами цього шляху.

🤍 Але ми є. Ми були. Ми будемо. І ми разом виборемо своє місце в цьому світі.

Heeey! I wanna start a new vanilla Minecraft playthrough - catch up with updates, build new farms and experiment with crafters. I'm looking for a few people who are willing to join and will play somewhat frequently. I don't have a hosting solution ready, we can start via Radmin and then figure something out. If you want to join - DM me or write a comment. I'm ready to start even today if at least one person joins.

My joke for the first of April was that there's no joke

Pretty accurate XD