Forwarded from Jammish's disabled gay af random memes
Forwarded from Midget memes, broken dreams (Chelle 🐾🖤🎩)
Forwarded from Rrashy's Yeens memes and Slootcat Company 🔞 (Rrashy 🇻🇪 The first hunter)
This media is not supported in your browser
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
Forwarded from 🎄kvir-anarkiistaj memeoj 🇺🇦🇪🇺🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ (Aradia Arfari)
Forwarded from Basic Fucking Kindness
socialization, relationships, boundaries, communication
"you're not actually a better friend for not articulating and respecting your own needs, limits and boundaries. your lack of communication and boundaries is not some impressive sacrifice. you're not doing anyone any favors by acting like you're okay with things you arent okay with. you're just building burnout and resentment that will eventually damage the relationship in question. and when you eventually snap and walk away because you silently overburdened yourself to be a "good friend", it wont be the other persons fault
highkey, this is how i lost my friends in high school. im being so serious. i know y'all are people pleaser, y'all have precious trauma or whatever to be that way, but im so serious when im telling y'all its time for that character development"
"you're not actually a better friend for not articulating and respecting your own needs, limits and boundaries. your lack of communication and boundaries is not some impressive sacrifice. you're not doing anyone any favors by acting like you're okay with things you arent okay with. you're just building burnout and resentment that will eventually damage the relationship in question. and when you eventually snap and walk away because you silently overburdened yourself to be a "good friend", it wont be the other persons fault
highkey, this is how i lost my friends in high school. im being so serious. i know y'all are people pleaser, y'all have precious trauma or whatever to be that way, but im so serious when im telling y'all its time for that character development"
❤1
Forwarded from Mildly Interesting 🤔
My microwave says ‘good appetite’ instead of bon appetit when done cooking
Forwarded from tumblr
Forwarded from r_Damnthatsinteresting
This man robbed a restaurant by swimming up in a wet suit and Scuba gear; he then swam away in a pond after stealing thousands of dollars
https://redd.it/1ni0583
@r_Damnthatsinteresting
https://redd.it/1ni0583
@r_Damnthatsinteresting
Forwarded from 🔞 Hot goth girl anarcho-shitposting and insane ramblings 🔞
Honestly, what are you supposed to do when a white queer says something kinda racist? My usual experience is them just denying it when you point it out. Like, "but I'm not racist!" as if that makes it impossible for them to ever say something racist. As if it's impossible for them to say something that will hurt someone from a specific minority group.
I just end up not hanging out with people who double down like that. Cause I'm really not sure if there's anything more to be said after they double down, really. I feel like most liberal and also some leftist white people cling so hard onto "I'm not racist!" that they shut out all criticism and room to improve.
The remainder of this post is my own personal take on this kind of thing, how I try to go about it, and how I think about it. But I'm open to input/discussion/criticism on any part of this post.
We all have opportunities to learn more about racism (and all forms of bigotry, but this post is mostly about racism because I recently got reminded of just how bad racism can still be among many white queer people). How we react to these learning opportunities really displays our relationship with racism. My reaction to finding out something I said is racist is like, oh shit sorry, I didn't know, I'll do better, etc., and then I actually do some bare minimum basic research if I don't understand, or listen to the person if they're willing to explain, and appreciate that because they didn't have to, like they don't owe that explanation to me by default. It's generally not good to just immediately get defensive or act in anger when someone points out something you said is kinda racist. Even if they do happen to be wrong about something being racist, calmly thinking it out and talking it out is the best way to go about such a situation.
White people tend to get so afraid of being called racist. But as someone who has been on both ends of this (white passing at some times in my life, not white passing at other times in my life), being called racist tends to be way less scary of a situation to be in than being on the receiving end of racism. If you have a friend who is a minority who's willing to point out if something you said is kinda racist, that usually requires a certain level of trust in you on their part to even point out to you in the first place. Like, particularly if it's being pointed out to you conversationally (and not like, angrily shouted at you... context is important, of course.) Like, it can be risky for a minority to point out racism, even to a friend. Bad experiences with doing this are all too common.
Nobody is perfect, but you should strive to improve. It's not good enough to just be "not racist," but you must be anti-racist. Part of being anti-racist is educating yourself when you can. (Even if it's just the absolute bare minimum of following a few minority educators on youtube or tiktok who talk about subjects like discrimination and racism or something so bits of anti racist education pop into your feed here and there when you doomscroll lmao. Or, u know, just listen to people like the rest of this post is saying.)
There's a few things involved in being anti-racist that go above and beyond just "not racist". Like speaking up when you see it. But this comes full circle back to the beginning, where what I tend to experience is often white liberals (and even plenty of white leftists, including queer people) will say something racist and then double down until they're blue in the face that it wasn't racist.
Like. Aren't queer leftists supposed to value open mindedness almost by default? Open your mind to the fact that you can and will say something that might annoy or offend a minority friend of yours, and when that happens, be ready to just simply not double down, and listen to them. Be willing to self-reflect. For their sake. For the sake of your friendship. Be willing to self reflect if you value keeping this other person in your life.
And if you don't have any racial minority friends? There's probably a reason why that.
I just end up not hanging out with people who double down like that. Cause I'm really not sure if there's anything more to be said after they double down, really. I feel like most liberal and also some leftist white people cling so hard onto "I'm not racist!" that they shut out all criticism and room to improve.
The remainder of this post is my own personal take on this kind of thing, how I try to go about it, and how I think about it. But I'm open to input/discussion/criticism on any part of this post.
We all have opportunities to learn more about racism (and all forms of bigotry, but this post is mostly about racism because I recently got reminded of just how bad racism can still be among many white queer people). How we react to these learning opportunities really displays our relationship with racism. My reaction to finding out something I said is racist is like, oh shit sorry, I didn't know, I'll do better, etc., and then I actually do some bare minimum basic research if I don't understand, or listen to the person if they're willing to explain, and appreciate that because they didn't have to, like they don't owe that explanation to me by default. It's generally not good to just immediately get defensive or act in anger when someone points out something you said is kinda racist. Even if they do happen to be wrong about something being racist, calmly thinking it out and talking it out is the best way to go about such a situation.
White people tend to get so afraid of being called racist. But as someone who has been on both ends of this (white passing at some times in my life, not white passing at other times in my life), being called racist tends to be way less scary of a situation to be in than being on the receiving end of racism. If you have a friend who is a minority who's willing to point out if something you said is kinda racist, that usually requires a certain level of trust in you on their part to even point out to you in the first place. Like, particularly if it's being pointed out to you conversationally (and not like, angrily shouted at you... context is important, of course.) Like, it can be risky for a minority to point out racism, even to a friend. Bad experiences with doing this are all too common.
Nobody is perfect, but you should strive to improve. It's not good enough to just be "not racist," but you must be anti-racist. Part of being anti-racist is educating yourself when you can. (Even if it's just the absolute bare minimum of following a few minority educators on youtube or tiktok who talk about subjects like discrimination and racism or something so bits of anti racist education pop into your feed here and there when you doomscroll lmao. Or, u know, just listen to people like the rest of this post is saying.)
There's a few things involved in being anti-racist that go above and beyond just "not racist". Like speaking up when you see it. But this comes full circle back to the beginning, where what I tend to experience is often white liberals (and even plenty of white leftists, including queer people) will say something racist and then double down until they're blue in the face that it wasn't racist.
Like. Aren't queer leftists supposed to value open mindedness almost by default? Open your mind to the fact that you can and will say something that might annoy or offend a minority friend of yours, and when that happens, be ready to just simply not double down, and listen to them. Be willing to self-reflect. For their sake. For the sake of your friendship. Be willing to self reflect if you value keeping this other person in your life.
And if you don't have any racial minority friends? There's probably a reason why that.