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Last Update:
24.08.24
After landing in Paris, we were held at the airport for 3 hours. Police checked all our belongings and took our devices. Luckily I managed to call my mom before that so she wouldn’t worry. Then they let me and Mario (Pavel’s assistant) go, but kept Pavel in a police station.
25.08.24
Woke up disconnected from the world, no device, no idea what was happening. Mario and I stayed positive and went for breakfast, expecting Pavel to join us soon.
Around 2pm, we bought new phones. Suddenly, we were hit with the news: Pavel could spend 20 years in prison. Bloggers blamed me for Pavel’s arrest, spreading conspiracy theories. The stress was indescribable. A panic attack kicked in.
Everything came at once: Pavel’s arrest, lies and hate directed towards me. I had no access to my socials, phone, nothing. I couldn’t respond and just had to accept it all.
For some reason, I felt I needed to take a pregnancy test. Mario said if this were a movie, I’d probably find out I’m pregnant.
Sitting in a Parisian café, I took the test. The result was in French: “Enceinte 3+”. I ran back upstairs to translate. The shock on my face when it said “Pregnant.” I felt helpless, unable to run to Pavel with the happy news, as he was still unreachable.
Police asked me to come for questioning. My doctor told me not to go. He said it was dangerous due to the early stage of pregnancy and the stress I was already under. (Spoiler: Four weeks after, I agreed to come and spent 3-4 hours answering questions).
September
Month of acceptance, focus on physical and mental health, supporting each other, seeing all the magical changes in my new body
It would have been easy to give up or go insane, but we embraced this new reality amidst the uncertainty.
I never got my phone and laptops back. I was really enjoying magical Paris while being pregnant. In a few weeks I managed to restore access to my socials.
And then, another twist
04.10.24
The doctor said the baby’s heart wasn’t beating anymore
It’s hard to describe the pain. We got so used to the idea by then. It was the 10th week.
05.10.24
Surgery day. It was quick, with almost no physical pain.
Now it’s time to heal
We managed to cope with so much at once. But it was too much for the little one.. 👼🏻
