What they don’t tell yuo is that the game could not involve Philadelphia at all and the Philadelphia crime rate would still increase

Me today (I know nothing about football, but every time this team makes it to the superbowl it seems to erode Philadelphia property values and allows me to buy up more historically black neighborhoods and replace low income housing with hipster breweries and overpriced Korean inspired burger joints with gimmicky fries)

Imagine being Norwegian lmao 😂

This halftime show is nuts

⚡️R E J E C T M O D E R N I T Y⚡️

DF&Co. ™️: “we don’t give a f who wins this ‘game’. It’s all rigged anyways.”

Also DF&Co. ™️ closely analyzing the most detailed and autistic play-for-play twitch stream that even includes historical air pressure to monitor rates of condensation in order to estimate ball dropability just to make sure that the Pfizer fuckin psyop power couple team doesn’t win (it’s a psyop regardless of the outcome):

🚨 BREAKING 🚨

Punxsutawney Phil predicts a Chiefs victory at Super Bowl LIX!

Biggest surprise of the evening is that they *didn’t* summon Furfur, Great Earl of Hell and ruler of 26 legions of demons (may he forever remain damned to the depths of Tartarus)

All 9 white people that live in downtown Philly rn:

Sinkhole opened in Cornish backyard, leading 300ft down into a medieval mineshaft
https://redd.it/1i80dxr
@r_interestingasfuck

“Shrek… It’s getting dark… I’m cold, Shrek…”

BOOOOOOOOO! 👎

How yuo know it’s Based: Scott Stapp is wearing his own name on the back of his jersey:


https://youtube.com/shorts/x9G-1gOBUiE?si=Bxlaiv5eGNHXYKN8